Finally! I managed to work! God, it has been awful…to desperately want to paint, but not be able to. Ok, technically, I haven’t painted. I have drawn using oil pastels, but still…it’s work. These are my warm-up exercises. I dug deep into my mind, went to a dark place, and came up with these neo-expressionist imaginings. I have called them, ‘Old Man Deceiving The Artist’, and they are kind of self-portraits.
I intend on making a painting from these but wanted to do a few colour studies first, so these are my first attempts. They’re also my first attempts at Neo-Expressionism. I was a huge fan of Neo-Expressionism long before I even knew what the term meant, or before I knew that what I was looking at was Neo-Expressionist.
Neo-Expressionism uses vivid and banal colour harmonies and is painted in a primitivist style. It portrays raw emotion and tension, and is used to create a sense of disturbance to alienate the viewer in some manner.
I hope I have managed to capture that style here. All I know is that it feels good to create again.
Well, my dear blog buddies, I hope things start improving for me soon. I’m optimistic about it. I’ve been to the doctor and I’ve been prescribed medication to relieve my anxiety, and I have put an exercise plan in place, put myself on a diet (I’ve been comfort eating), I’m trying to get my finances in order (which I’m dreadful with), and I’m decorating my house…hence my absence.
One of the things on my list is doing up the house – long overdue! I’m moving a heap of stuff out, as I’m a bit of a hoarder, painting, and getting stuck into the garden as well. I kind of need this at the moment – manual labour soothes the soul – and I’ve got my plan, which I’m determined to stick to!
I’m really sorry, but I haven’t been able to visit anyone’s blogs. I have a heap to read, and comment on, but I will get to them.
I also have a painting or two that I want to work on. My dad is a huge fan of tall ships, especially tall ships in battle, so I’m hoping to paint him a seascape. I’d appreciate any help/advice on this, as I’ve never painted the sea. I have no idea how to go about it.
My father-in-law is also a fan of Dinky vans/trucks and I wanted to paint one for him, whilst my mother-in-law is a massive Jack Vettriano fan, so I’d like to do an homage to him. I’m not a fan of Vettriano, but being a Scottish artist, he is hugely popular here.
So, yes, there you have it. Those are some of the things on my list, and there’s more, but one thing at a time!
I received some sound and much needed advice yesterday from a friend and regular commenter, Leslie, on how to get myself out of it. Create a list. It’s so simple!
It’s been very difficult to get motivated or off my backside.
I had the worst panic attack today, since I started getting them, and I refuse to let this thing turn me into a quivering wreck. So, after I had my panic attack I wrote a list of all the things I want to do: around the house, on my website, in my art. There’s a lot on the list, but all highly manageable. Some items will take much longer to achieve than others, but they are goals for the future as well as the present moment.
I want to decorate my house and work on my garden as well, so I thought that a bit of manual work might do me some good. Do you know that manual work is the best thing for the mind? Well, that and exercise. It’s very similar to meditation – you exist in the moment – just as in painting.
In meditation class, our teacher told us to focus on the task in hand, no matter if you’re doing the dishes or digging your garden. It’s something I’ve lost sight of in recently. I haven’t attended class for a while, and I think I really should.
Anyway, I created the list and I worked on a few things on the list. I did some housework: washed the windows, curtains, and floors. I then went out into the garden and mowed the front lawn. I did some strimming of the front and side borders, then I got out the weedkiller and attacked the weeds. I managed to tick off several items, which felt really good.
I did a few things relating to the site, and they are partially ticked off.
I also figured out some things I need to do for my art, to get me back on the path. I was thinking of selling some of my work. I have tonnes of it lying around, and while a lot of it isn’t really saleable, there are a few items that I think are. It also made me focus on the idea of selling future work. This will not only (hopefully) earn me a little bit of cash, but more importantly, it will give me the focus I need.
I have written a list of what I want to achieve in the short and medium term: figure drawing, anatomy and such likes. I also found another artist to inspire me in this area: Michael Mentler. If you haven’t heard of him, you should check out his artwork. He is a figurative artist who models himself in the style of the Masters, and it shows, yet his work is completely different and simply incredible! You can also check him out at The Society of Figurative Arts.
All-in-all, I think I achieved a lot today, and importanly, I am motivated to do more. So tomorrow I will work on my list and do a couple of things, or just one thing. Who knows?
I’d love to hear what others do to get motivated. Over to you…
I appear to have lost it, but I want and I’m trying to get my mojo back. Is it normal to feel this way? Since I finished college I’ve had real trouble trying to find inspiration. I’m inclined to believe that because my course was so intense (condensing 40 weeks into 30), and I was working seven days a week on my coursework, I’ve lost my appetite, albeit temporarily.
Anyway, I’m trying to get my mojo back as I said. My problem is that there is so much I want to do, and I don’t know where to start. I want to do work on my website – CSS, HTML, etc; I want to work on my digital work, i.e. Photoshop, and learn Illustrator; I want to hone my drawing skills; I want to do gardening. I want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Don’t you just love this painting? It’s a personal favourite of mine and is exactly how I feel!)
I want to do so much but I’m getting very little done. I’m doing bits and bobs here and there but don’t feel I’m committing to anything really. I have no focus. To top it all off, I’m not sleeping. I’ve had about 12 hours sleep in one week.
I’ve been an on-off smoker for years, and I started again not too long ago, but I hate it and this time I was determined to stop and never to start again, so I got a DVD to help me. I watched the DVD and after watching it, I no longer wanted to smoke. Brilliant, eh? I’ve not had a cigarette in 3 weeks!
However, now I’m not sleeping, and I’m having panic attacks. My thoughts have also become really negative. I feel like almost everything is pointless and futile. I’m questioning and worrying about everything I’m doing. I can deal with the negative thoughts, but it’s the panic attacks and sleeplessness that’s bothering me most. I know that the negative thoughts are the cause of the panic attacks and sleeplessness, and I’m trying to do everything to avoid them. I’m using relaxation techniques, natural remedies, and even tried alcohol to get me to sleep! Nothing is working. My GP wants to see me as he thinks my symptoms are stress-related. Well, duh? I’m always stressed. I have a lot going on in my personal life, ensuring that I’m always stressed. I think that stopping smoking may just have exacerbated it.
The thing is, I don’t want a cigarette. I haven’t had any cravings. I haven’t used any substitutes. I’m not eating more; not chewing gum or trying to find uses for my hands to take my mind off smoking. However, I do think that when I’m stressed the normal thing for me to do is have a cigarette. Now I don’t have that. Perhaps that’s what’s causing my problems.
Oh yes, and then there’s the added stress of the World Cup. Don’t even get me started on that. Let’s just say the noise has been a real turn off. For those in the know, the dreaded vuvuzela has completely ruined the competition. I think so anyway, and so do many others. I was looking forward to relaxing for the next few weeks and now that’s not on the cards. The game has been ruined.
So, now you know why I’ve had no creative spark at all. Too many fingers in too many pies, and not getting my desired relaxation, but at least I’ve vented a little here. Anyway, I hope to be back soon!
I was on YouTube last night and I found this documentary made a few years ago by the BBC about Salvador Dali’s Christ of St John of the Cross. The programme is called Artworks Scotland. It was a series about…well…artworks in Scotland! Aye, I know, who would’ve guessed?! This is a fascinating documentary piece about how the painting came to Glasgow, and about the man responsible for bringing it – Tom Honeyman.
It talks to artists who studied at Glasgow School of Art, and their memories of first seeing the painting in the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum and what it meant to them. It’s a pretty similar experience to my own. What you find is people hypnotised by this piece of art, regardless of whether they liked Dali or not. For most of them, like myself, it was their first experience of art.
What is hilarious is the bit where they talk to this guy who petitioned against the painting in the 1950s because of the cost. He refers to the painting as junk! Haha! I understand he feels the need to defend his original stance, but really he doesn’t have to. He could have just admitted that he got it wrong in the first place. It just makes him seem really petty and reeks of sour grapes. You may not like a painting, but you can’t refer to it as junk, unless it is actually junk. Dali worked on this painting for months and he put his heart and soul into, and you do any artist a great disservice by triviliasing it down to a single disparaging word.
This video is quite a few years old so bits of it are out of date, but it’s a really great documentary. I thinked I’ve expounded enough about this painting, but I hope you’ll enjoy it!
I'm a student artist, and have just started my second year at college. I work in many areas of art, specialising in abstract fine art, and I'm also studying traditional realism at an Atelier School in Aberdeen. Follow me on my journey, and share my experiences, as I progress through my studies.
