I appear to have lost it, but I want and I’m trying to get my mojo back. Is it normal to feel this way? Since I finished college I’ve had real trouble trying to find inspiration. I’m inclined to believe that because my course was so intense (condensing 40 weeks into 30), and I was working seven days a week on my coursework, I’ve lost my appetite, albeit temporarily.
Anyway, I’m trying to get my mojo back as I said. My problem is that there is so much I want to do, and I don’t know where to start. I want to do work on my website – CSS, HTML, etc; I want to work on my digital work, i.e. Photoshop, and learn Illustrator; I want to hone my drawing skills; I want to do gardening. I want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Don’t you just love this painting? It’s a personal favourite of mine and is exactly how I feel!)
I want to do so much but I’m getting very little done. I’m doing bits and bobs here and there but don’t feel I’m committing to anything really. I have no focus. To top it all off, I’m not sleeping. I’ve had about 12 hours sleep in one week.
I’ve been an on-off smoker for years, and I started again not too long ago, but I hate it and this time I was determined to stop and never to start again, so I got a DVD to help me. I watched the DVD and after watching it, I no longer wanted to smoke. Brilliant, eh? I’ve not had a cigarette in 3 weeks!
However, now I’m not sleeping, and I’m having panic attacks. My thoughts have also become really negative. I feel like almost everything is pointless and futile. I’m questioning and worrying about everything I’m doing. I can deal with the negative thoughts, but it’s the panic attacks and sleeplessness that’s bothering me most. I know that the negative thoughts are the cause of the panic attacks and sleeplessness, and I’m trying to do everything to avoid them. I’m using relaxation techniques, natural remedies, and even tried alcohol to get me to sleep! Nothing is working. My GP wants to see me as he thinks my symptoms are stress-related. Well, duh? I’m always stressed. I have a lot going on in my personal life, ensuring that I’m always stressed. I think that stopping smoking may just have exacerbated it.
The thing is, I don’t want a cigarette. I haven’t had any cravings. I haven’t used any substitutes. I’m not eating more; not chewing gum or trying to find uses for my hands to take my mind off smoking. However, I do think that when I’m stressed the normal thing for me to do is have a cigarette. Now I don’t have that. Perhaps that’s what’s causing my problems.
Oh yes, and then there’s the added stress of the World Cup. Don’t even get me started on that. Let’s just say the noise has been a real turn off. For those in the know, the dreaded vuvuzela has completely ruined the competition. I think so anyway, and so do many others. I was looking forward to relaxing for the next few weeks and now that’s not on the cards. The game has been ruined.
So, now you know why I’ve had no creative spark at all. Too many fingers in too many pies, and not getting my desired relaxation, but at least I’ve vented a little here. Anyway, I hope to be back soon!
Hi Heather. I have felt like this, especially after a period of time where every moment was taken with a task or something to do. What usually seems to help me is to tell myself to calm down, first things first. Pick one thing off my list and do that. Set no goal as you have time. Usually if I start one thing, I get going on that and feel a little better. When that is done I look at the next thing I have listed, never thinking of even accomplishing everything on my list. Your body doesn't know how to relax as it has been pumping hard for weeks. I have a friend that experienced this just recently, and was amazed to hear her say that, "If I don't overload my days, I don't feel good about myself." I feel sad for her. I don't see her much anymore because she is always chasing the next task.
Leslie, thank you! I really needed to hear that. I've been in such a slump lately and it has been driving me mad. You are completely correct when you say pick something and go do it. I should make a list. I work better from a list. I crave structure, always have. When you say pick something, do you mean just for that day or do you plan a single task for, say, several weeks?
As for relaxing. It is something I am never able to properly do. When I'm 'relaxing' I'm actually just working on something else that i don't see as work – but it is work nonetheless. For instance, learning programming languages – I see it as a hobby, but I'm still working; still learning and not relaxing. I've been like this my whole life. I can understand your friend's position, and I think I'm fairly similar.
You have helped me enormously though, and I have decided what I'm doing next. Back to my roots and the old drawing board – literally!
Usually I start with something that I have put off, usually dusting or something menial. I make a list as you say you have done in the past. I do not put a time limit on it. Like I don't write out tues, wed, thurs and put tasks next to those days. My list is just plain a list. When the dusting is done, I feel a little better. I start the next thing. If you have a hobby task, as you mention above, reward yourself with time spent on that but you can't cross it off your list until you are done. You could put a check mark next to those that are ongoing. I have found it lifts my spirits everytime I can cross something off. Don't know why. It just does.
Thank you Leslie, it really helps. I know the things I should be doing and keep putting off. Sometimes we have so much clutter in our heads that we don't always see the most obvious answers. I have made a list and am now off to implement something on it!
Stumbled upon your blog just now. Mojo, Writers block, whatever it is, can be a pain. I draw, but I mainly perform music. I'm a creative person. However, when I lose my mojo, I don't try to get it back. I let it come back to me on its own. The great thing being a performer and an artist is that I bounce from music to art and back and find my mojo waiting for me near the guitar.
You must never force it. The boulder blocking the path ain't gonna move no matter how hard you push. Best to turn your efforts towards something else that needs doing, taking your mind off it all, then returning with a fresh look.
That's my experience anyway.
Hey thanks Pipsqeek! I know what you're saying. I kept telling myself I shouldn't force it, and that it will come back when it's ready to, but the other side told me that I just have to push on past it. It's never that easy, is it? My hubby is a musician too and he told me something similar to what you told me.
I've been creating by demand for the past year now, and sometimes you just need a break. I'm sure chefs don't want to cook when they get home!